Sat 1 Dec 2007
If the world were to suddenly stop spinning and we all got flung off it into deep space, what would be your favorite way to be saved before the vast frigidity and emptiness of space turned you into a bloated frozen explode-y corpse? Points for originality.
Extra points if you bear in mind the terrific velocity of your trip into space or can convincingly explain why you’d be moving slowly.
(Suggested by shmegegge!)
Posted by Josh Millard37 answers so far!
Infinite Improbability Drive.
Superman.
001100
010010
011110
100001
101101
110011
Passing space ship filled with young nubile women heading off on a looooong mission.
Who wants to live forever? Sex, Zen, Death.
@Memo - good plan!
if you were a prisoner in the village, one of those big bouncy balls could come after you and fetch you back
Tractor beam, Marvin, Illudium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulator. That about covers it.
Amulet of Yendor. Ascension. Compare photos and Hawaiian shirts with other demi-god tourists.
Of course, that’s assuming I can actually WIN NetHack before the heat death of the universe, which is looking pretty unlikely at the moment.
No, really, there’s nothing to save you but the infinite improbability drive. It’s just not going to happen, unless you’re of the sort that genuinely likes Vogon poetry. In which case you’re almost certainly a Vogon poet.
Me, I’m not counting on being saved. I’m thinking, this is when I get my chance to find out if there really is a big man in the sky. And who was right about all that religion stuff, anyway? My completely insane hellfire and brimstone Calvinist family? My boyfriend’s less insane but more off-the-beaten-track Mormon family? Those folks with the sneakers? Maybe Lewis Carroll was right, and we’re all just part of a chess piece’s dream.
Although it would be nice if pyramid termite was right and I could be rolled up into a katamari. I’m sure I wouldn’t like it at first, but then I’d become part of a star! Or the moon! How much would that kick ass?
Well, the escape velocity is more then 10km/second
And the earth’s diameter is just 12,715 km. Which means the velocity relative the earth’s center is just (12.7Mm/h)/24h = 0.5Mm/h = 500km/h. That’s just 138.8 meters per second.
So you’d be moving about 10,000 times to slow to be flung into space, by my calculations.
Oh shit. I made my own order of magnitude error on the escape velocity of the earth. I wrote it above as 10km/s, but for some reason I was thinking of it as 10Mm (same order of magnitude as the earths’ diameter). So you would actually only be moving about 100 times to slow (actually 81 times to slow)
The speed calculation is correct. 138 m/s is about 310 miles per hour, to give you an idea. So you would certainly die when you hit something, but you wouldn’t end up in space.
The fact that my feet are nailed to the floor.
Hi, J[esus]tron.
As far as empirical testing goes, we have no evidence that the vacuum of space causes the death of humans.
I’ll be outside. I’ll be fine.
These are the greatest answers ever. I also think it’s funny that the mods took out the part of my question that said “Points for originality, so no Improbability drives, please.”
For myself, I’d like a giant disembodied hand to grab me and throw me to a paradise planet full of sex and drugs that aren’t dangerous and rock music.
seriously, I wish there were favorites here.
My fat ass would keep me on Earth.
delmoi’s argument brings up a really compelling followup-exercise: accepting that the best folks can hope for is a short, ~300mph flight, what’s that mess going to look like? And how could you engineer a safe landing?
seriously, I wish there were favorites here.
In time, in time.
You ever do that experiment in middle school science where you’ve gotta rig up something out of bendy straws and masking tape that’ll keep an egg from breaking when you drop it out the window?
Yeah, I’m gonna be walking around in one of those all the time now. Just in case.
I plan to parachute pleasantly to a pillowy “plop” in my (pre-meditated, precisely positioned)personal pumpkin pie planet.
I would like to be saved by one of those boss Al Feldstein-style 1950s rocket ships which would then take me to a Ray Bradburyesque planet which seems like Earth right down to the white picket fences and pitchers of lemonade but instead of everything turning dark and weird (”The lemonade pitcher! It was really– AN ALIEN!”) everything remains calm and chill and we can all just sit back in our rocking chairs sipping lemonade (Non-Alien) and watching the sun go down pink and purple in the sky.
First of all, if the world were to suddenly stop spinning, most of us will be indoors and go SPLAT against the nearest west-facing wall (or east-facing? I’m not too sure of that.)
The more likely scenario was described very well years ago by the philosophical co-op known as Bread:
“If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I’d spend the end with you,
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away.”
Err…maybe I’m missing something, but what does the mass and gravitic effect of the earth have to do with it spinning?
I think I’m missing what’s making you think you’re missing something. Elaborate?
Well, I assume that by the time this happens, we’ll have made a backup of the web, which we’ll store on a holographic device aboard a satellite, just in case something happens to the Earth.
As I fly off into space, I’ll quickly pop that black-market pill I bought on the black market. It cost me a fortune, so I hope it will work.
If it does, it will shoot a bunch of nanobots into my brain. The bots will eat my brain, neuron-by-neuron. They will do this very quickly, vaporizing my brain in under a minute. They’ll transmit information about each neuron to a device that I’ll be wearing on my belt, and that device will boost the signal and beam it to the “web” satellite.
This is, of course, illegal, but there won’t be any law any more, so who cares. I’m praying those Russian hackers know as much as they claim they do, because they told me that a “lock pick” application will be sent along with my neuron data. It should be able to break through the web’s security and let “me” in.
Once I’m integrated into the web, I’ll be able to worm from site to site, via hyperlinks. I suspect it will be very jarring to be just a consciousness, so I’ll high-tale it to a game as-fast-as possible and inhabit an avatar. Maybe it will be one that I prepared ahead of time, back before the web was copied to the satellite. It will be me, but better looking, and with superpowers. I’ll also make sure that, back when I’m still on Earth, I amass a fortune in the game’s currency.
What I’m really curious about is whether or not other people will have my idea and make the same preparations. Will I meet them online? Surely I’ll meet SOME people. Of course, there are many such satellites, because we wanted redundancy, so I can’t be sure the one I’m on will be a popular one.
It would be cool if I could control the systems of the satellite. I’m sure there will be a way to do that, but it may take me some time to hack into it. Once I do that, I’ll be able to pilot the satellite around the galaxy. It will take eons to get anywhere, of course, but who cares? I’ll be basically immortal. And, if I want, I can always put myself to sleep for a few centuries. A cron job can wake me when we get to Alpha Centuri or wherever.
If I were flung into space, than shmegegge’s answer about an earthly paradise without negative effects would be best.
If we’re just talking “earth stopping”, and then, as delmoi points out, not being flung into space…
…and then, further, if we accept only things that are actually possible (I doubt the “eternal land of drugs and sex without consequences” is possible)…
Then it would work like this: if I remember what my physics teacher said correctly, then due to the fact that atoms have tremendous tremendous gaps between them, it is technically possible for two objects to pass through eachother. What prevents this is the fact that there are such incredible numbers of atoms in any object that, odds are, the electrons on a good number of atoms in the body will get close to the electrons on a good number of atoms in the object you’re pushing against, and their electrical fields will repulse eachother, which keeps you from being able to walk through walls.
However (again, if I remember correctly), this is a probabilistic event. There is a possibility, incredibly small though it may be, that the atoms of your body, and the electrons therein, will be positioned just so, and the wall’s atoms, with their electrons, also be positioned just so, such that you could pass through the wall. It’s physically possible, but incredibly unlikely.
In which case, I would think it was neat if the probabilities all coincided, and, instead of being dashed against the nearest wall at 310 mph, I would be flung through it, and the wall after that, and the car behind that, and the tree behind the car, et all, such that I was orbiting the earth at 0 m of altitude, seeing everything fly by super fast, rooms blinking in and out of view rapidly, taking a free trip around the world in the world’s lowest flying vehicle.
After slipping off the edge of the Disc* and narrowly missing the elephants’ feet, sliding down the immense, crater-laden shell of Great A’Tuin and tumbling into the Rimworld Net, I’d be fished out by friendly natives, returned to Ankh-Morpork at the Patrician’s expense and apply to the Guild of Seamstresses.**
*You didn’t specify which world, so there, nanner nanner.
**Because I enjoy embroidery, that’s why. What?
I imagine that I would land on one of the turtles that’s holding up the world.
I’d be stuck in that plane on the conveyor belt.
I’d do what any self-respecting anime character would do: I’d suddenly manifest a previously unknown ability to survive in the vacuum of space. The glowing light-weapon that I throw at my enemies would also suddenly cause a lot more damage. My hair would change color to commemorate these newest additions to my tediously long list of awe-inspiring traits. The new light-weapon strength would be useful in the imminent space battle between myself and my archnemesis. It would be too late to save the Earth from her planet-destroying mystical device (which looks strangely like a fancy toaster), but I would be determined to exact vengeance for her crimes. I’d use my velocity as I was flung out into the void of space to make the first attack, and the ensuing fight would ignore all real physics on the grounds that both of us wear glowy magical jewels and are actually princesses from another planet. It would all look very cool but be kind of boring to watch.
After a commercial break, I would win the fight, and my nemesis would (predictably) escape. My cabbit would pick me up and we’d go pirating in some other solar system.
I would want somebody to build a really really *really* tall ladder to come up and get me.
Seconding Superman, and none of that neo-Superman some guy called BRANDON shit. Christopher *quiver* Reeve. It’s okay if he can only save a few dozen of us. I will rule over them with the clear eyed justice befitting my icy throne at his chiseled and surprisingly snarky side at the ol’ FoS.
Given infinite universes, with all possible outcomes, the question becomes moot.
I am always dying of the vast frigidity and emptiness of space, and at the same time enjoying my coffee while surfing the Internet. There are an infinite number of different ways that I am rescued at the last moment. That’s just the inescapable nature of reality.
First of all, I’d be caught by the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man. Lightly and gently.
Second of all, I’d be on the Dark Side. So I’d immediately corner the market on Vitamin D.
A year later, I’d be on the light side. But I’ve had already cornered the market on sunscreen and light-filtering clothing.
But given my marshmallow background, I’d be sweet about it all.
I wouldn’t be saved. I’m not worthy.