Second of all, I’d be on the Dark Side. So I’d immediately corner the market on Vitamin D.

A year later, I’d be on the light side. But I’ve had already cornered the market on sunscreen and light-filtering clothing.

But given my marshmallow background, I’d be sweet about it all.

I am always dying of the vast frigidity and emptiness of space, and at the same time enjoying my coffee while surfing the Internet. There are an infinite number of different ways that I am rescued at the last moment. That’s just the inescapable nature of reality.

After a commercial break, I would win the fight, and my nemesis would (predictably) escape. My cabbit would pick me up and we’d go pirating in some other solar system.

*You didn’t specify which world, so there, nanner nanner.

**Because I enjoy embroidery, that’s why. What?

If we’re just talking “earth stopping”, and then, as delmoi points out, not being flung into space…

…and then, further, if we accept only things that are actually possible (I doubt the “eternal land of drugs and sex without consequences” is possible)…

Then it would work like this: if I remember what my physics teacher said correctly, then due to the fact that atoms have tremendous tremendous gaps between them, it is technically possible for two objects to pass through eachother. What prevents this is the fact that there are such incredible numbers of atoms in any object that, odds are, the electrons on a good number of atoms in the body will get close to the electrons on a good number of atoms in the object you’re pushing against, and their electrical fields will repulse eachother, which keeps you from being able to walk through walls.

However (again, if I remember correctly), this is a probabilistic event. There is a possibility, incredibly small though it may be, that the atoms of your body, and the electrons therein, will be positioned just so, and the wall’s atoms, with their electrons, also be positioned just so, such that you could pass through the wall. It’s physically possible, but incredibly unlikely.

In which case, I would think it was neat if the probabilities all coincided, and, instead of being dashed against the nearest wall at 310 mph, I would be flung through it, and the wall after that, and the car behind that, and the tree behind the car, et all, such that I was orbiting the earth at 0 m of altitude, seeing everything fly by super fast, rooms blinking in and out of view rapidly, taking a free trip around the world in the world’s lowest flying vehicle.

As I fly off into space, I’ll quickly pop that black-market pill I bought on the black market. It cost me a fortune, so I hope it will work.

If it does, it will shoot a bunch of nanobots into my brain. The bots will eat my brain, neuron-by-neuron. They will do this very quickly, vaporizing my brain in under a minute. They’ll transmit information about each neuron to a device that I’ll be wearing on my belt, and that device will boost the signal and beam it to the “web” satellite.

This is, of course, illegal, but there won’t be any law any more, so who cares. I’m praying those Russian hackers know as much as they claim they do, because they told me that a “lock pick” application will be sent along with my neuron data. It should be able to break through the web’s security and let “me” in.

Once I’m integrated into the web, I’ll be able to worm from site to site, via hyperlinks. I suspect it will be very jarring to be just a consciousness, so I’ll high-tale it to a game as-fast-as possible and inhabit an avatar. Maybe it will be one that I prepared ahead of time, back before the web was copied to the satellite. It will be me, but better looking, and with superpowers. I’ll also make sure that, back when I’m still on Earth, I amass a fortune in the game’s currency.

What I’m really curious about is whether or not other people will have my idea and make the same preparations. Will I meet them online? Surely I’ll meet SOME people. Of course, there are many such satellites, because we wanted redundancy, so I can’t be sure the one I’m on will be a popular one.

It would be cool if I could control the systems of the satellite. I’m sure there will be a way to do that, but it may take me some time to hack into it. Once I do that, I’ll be able to pilot the satellite around the galaxy. It will take eons to get anywhere, of course, but who cares? I’ll be basically immortal. And, if I want, I can always put myself to sleep for a few centuries. A cron job can wake me when we get to Alpha Centuri or wherever.

The more likely scenario was described very well years ago by the philosophical co-op known as Bread:
“If the world should stop revolving spinning slowly down to die,
I’d spend the end with you,
And when the world was through,
Then one by one the stars would all go out,
Then you and I would simply fly away.”

Yeah, I’m gonna be walking around in one of those all the time now. Just in case.

seriously, I wish there were favorites here.

In time, in time.

For myself, I’d like a giant disembodied hand to grab me and throw me to a paradise planet full of sex and drugs that aren’t dangerous and rock music.

I’ll be outside. I’ll be fine.

The speed calculation is correct. 138 m/s is about 310 miles per hour, to give you an idea. So you would certainly die when you hit something, but you wouldn’t end up in space.

And the earth’s diameter is just 12,715 km. Which means the velocity relative the earth’s center is just (12.7Mm/h)/24h = 0.5Mm/h = 500km/h. That’s just 138.8 meters per second.

So you’d be moving about 10,000 times to slow to be flung into space, by my calculations.

Me, I’m not counting on being saved. I’m thinking, this is when I get my chance to find out if there really is a big man in the sky. And who was right about all that religion stuff, anyway? My completely insane hellfire and brimstone Calvinist family? My boyfriend’s less insane but more off-the-beaten-track Mormon family? Those folks with the sneakers? Maybe Lewis Carroll was right, and we’re all just part of a chess piece’s dream.

Although it would be nice if pyramid termite was right and I could be rolled up into a katamari. I’m sure I wouldn’t like it at first, but then I’d become part of a star! Or the moon! How much would that kick ass?