Comments on: Can I lie on my tombstone? About what?

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 23:12:03 +0000

“John Johnson got a great deal on his tombstone and so can you!

http://www.customtombstones.com/“

By: Misha

Misha — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 17:59:38 +0000

Technically, you could lie on your tombstone but, unless you were mummified, you would be rotting in no time and smell of earth, mold, worms and death, so they would take your corpse off the mouldering stone and bury you.

Heh.

Plus, you can’t lie about yourself on your tombstone (I’m impersonating languagehat here) because, you know, you’re dead.

BUT! Your relatives could lie about you. And yes, you could tell them what to write, but it would be better if they lied from the heart. Like: “Here lies John Smith. He still owes me fifty bucks.”

By: ersatz

ersatz — Sun, 09 Dec 2007 14:01:27 +0000

“I totally improvised what you’re reading.”

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 19:31:58 +0000

HA! Not only is it legal to put whatever you want, you all know SOMEONE who sells headstones and has a deliciously perverse sense of humor.

The last photo in the series is a headstone we did for a guy with a great sense of humor. It says, “This Ain’t Bad Once You Get Used To It.” He bought it in advance (without the date of death) and had it sitting outside of his back door for years. He loved being able to step outside every morning and piss on his own gravestone.

Some cemeteries may be sticklers about their headstones, but far more of them are not. Small cemeteries and country cemeteries don’t care what you put up. So: whatever you want on your headstone…you can have it.

By: Kattullus

Kattullus — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 18:58:05 +0000

I plan to lie my head off on my tombstone, after all, I won’t need the ol’ noggin anymore. My current fave is

KÁRI TULINIUS
1981-2139
HE’S STANDING RIGHT BEHIND YOU

By: Horace Rumpole

Horace Rumpole — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 17:42:46 +0000

If you’re going to put inventor of time travel, then the dates should be 2048-1437.

By: Marie Mon Dieu

Marie Mon Dieu — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 17:27:50 +0000

I think it depends on whether you can get the engraver to do it and whether the cemetery will allow it. This Boston Globe article from 2005 talks mostly about engraving offensive or garish pictures on headstones, but toward the end it talks about people requesting pictures of their loved ones to be made thinner or winning a horse race that never happened.

You could probably get something humorous past some cemeteries, like inventor of time travel. But I bet if you tried to falsely sneak being in the military or President of the United States they would balk at that.

You’d also have to get your tombstone engraved in advance, unless you have a willing co-conspirator who will carry out your wishes. Even then, there might be family members who would sue to have the tombstone replaced with something they consider more respectful, or someone who sees your headstone and complains to the cemetery. I’m also betting the cemetery would require proof of the birth and death dates so the date thing wouldn’t fly either. Still, there’s lots of room for embellisment.

“Marie Mon Dieu: Champion of raccoon sentience!”

By: taz

taz — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 17:19:36 +0000

I’m stoopid. Here’s the link.

By: taz

taz — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 17:18:28 +0000

It may not be illegal, per se - yet, still quite difficult. It looks like most cemeteries require an application for a proposed tombstone, and this one, for example, says “It is a requirement that a Statutory Declaration Form is filled out by ALL immediate family members approving wording on any memorial. The wording must be written clearly on the Statutory Declaration Form, permits will not be approved without a Statutory Declaration Form attached.”

Spoilsports.

However, if your beloved bereaved manage to push it through, I would go for something short and sweet, but with a lot of impact. Maybe VAMPYRE, and then 1437 - ?. You could consider it a gift to the community, every town needs a resident ghost, werewolf, vampire, or blood-dripping madman to keep things tingly.

By: Josh Millard

Josh Millard — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 17:15:23 +0000

Josh Millard
1979 - 20xx

NOT DEAD

By: JD Harper

JD Harper — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 16:09:02 +0000

I think it’s legal. What are they going to do, sue you?

By: Rock Steady

Rock Steady — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 14:14:41 +0000

Oh, man. This is a great and hilarious idea, but as a person with a Background In History, I fear for future generations of historians coming across your fraudulent gravestone. If you lie about dates, make it blazing obvious it is a joke. How about some harmless resume padding that no one is going to check up on? Like mentioning that you were briefly Commissioner of Major League Baseball, or a bestselling author, or a world-class lover?

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 13:17:22 +0000

______’s body is gone, but his spirit lives on within each and every one of us.
______is still watching you, taking detailed notes.
My name is ___________,king of kings. Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.