Fri 11 Jan 2008
Your close family member is in a coma. The doctors say 3 weeks or 3 months, you decide. What would you do?
Posted by Marie Mon Dieu13 answers so far!
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20 days.
Wait, I don’t understand the question. Please ’splain!
The doctors say there is very little chance of your family member lasting beyond 3 months. They offer you the option of turning off life support. Would you do it?
That depends on a lot of factors. Whether that family member had ever expressed a strong opinion towards living purely on lifesupport, for one. Whether or not they’ll be in pain, for another. If they’re not in pain, I’m inclined to wait a significant number of years unless they would’ve wanted me to pull the plug. If they are in pain, I think I’d want to end that as soon as possible.
But then again, people who were never supposed to wake up have woken up before, so I suppose I’m a bit wary of just pulling the plug.
My dad is headed for heart surgery tomorrow. Pretty basic stuff, I’m told. But I’m arranging to have him killed tonight anyway. I can’t risk it.
I’m going to answer based on the assumption that the individual never expressed a preference.
If there were some certainty that the person would never wake up, such as, some kind of tests have been done that show zero brain activity, or X-something-or-other has been severed, or what-have-you, I’d decide to keep them alive just long enough for family and friends to come and say goodbye, if they so choose. (This would be bundled with funeral services, so my answer is basically 3 days.)
Usually there is not that kind of certainty. With comas, at least on TV, doctors never really seem to know for sure. My personal number for a coma is 6. After 6 months of no or negligible improvement, then pull the plug. If the individual wakes up and is functioning within this time, he or she can decide the next steps. (If the individual is never functioning, then the plug would be pulled.)
The above paragraph, by the way, is my personal preference for myself. :) I need to get around go making that legal.
Your question didn’t have enough options. My answer is 3 days or 6 months. :) 3 weeks and 3 months are in no-man’s land for me.
A year ago we decided not to pull the plug on my aunt, who had been hit by a car and was in a coma. A few weeks ago she said “There’s a hole in my pajamas,” which was, in fact, true.
I’ve already done it, and I’d do it again, and I’d feel equally awful. And it’s definitely not that clearcut or “X will never recover” in real life.
I’m with FelliniBlank.
Let’s have a happy question tomorrow, plzkthxbai.
Let’s have a happy question tomorrow, plzkthxbai.
Tommorrow, on BBQ:
“The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can’t. Not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that, user?”
For cheerfulness, that sure beats “Suggest ways that Gallagher could be even funnier!
Yes, please, someone ask a happy question. This reminds me of the time I auditioned for an operetta with a song from Chorus Line. Except then I was allowed to slink off the stage into darkness. But I have lived up to my resolution to think less quite nicely.
I feel I should clarify one point: it is indeed realistic to expect this situation in real life, FelliniBlank, because I did it 20 years ago when my 31-year-old brother was in a coma and in real life, the doctors said he didn’t have a chance but we could decide to let him live either 3 weeks or 3 months. So I’ve “done it,” yeah, and I feel terrible, and it’s been 20 years come this April.
I asked it in that way because I was wondering if someone had that sudden choice, as I did, would they pull the plug right away or let it go? I worded it badly because I’d been reading about people on the brink of death and reminiscing about people who died in my life, and I was so emotional that the question made sense to me. So I apologize for my wording and for any pain the question may have caused anyone.
I feel I should clarify one point: it is indeed realistic to expect this situation in real life, FelliniBlank
Whoops, way belated, but I expressed my point badly here. Of course the situation where someone is never going to recover arises all the time in real life; I didn’t mean that at all. What I meant is that in my experience and from the reports I hear anecdotally from others, doctors frequently avoid saying so outright. They hedge their bets, for legal and psychological self-protection reasons, in language like, “It’s unlikely that So-and-So will return to her/his former functionality” or something. I gather it’s mainly on TV that doctors say flatly, “So-and-So is brain dead and there’s no (little) hope,” period.
What made my own circumstances very, very difficult is that the doctors flat out refused to give me any sort of direct information about the patient’s prognosis but weaseled around my inquiries while simultaneously questioning my judgment about the patient’s wishes. And I wasn’t asking for a “guarantee” either way; I just wanted a straight answer about whether there was any reasonable possibility of meaningful, partial or full recovery, enough to make me reconsider the DNR the patient had indicated should be enforced if she was a goner. Heck, I wish someone had said, “She’s done for”; that would have simplified everything.
So that’s all I meant by “it’s not this clearcut in real life” — that we often have to make these decisions without any clear information or verdict from the medical folks but instead, as with most important life choices, with too little information and not enough sleep.