Mon 7 Jul 2008
Imagine, for the purposes of this question, that you have found yourself elected King (or Queen) of the World. Imagine, too, that power corrupts, at least to a sufficient degree that you are willing and able to declare some world-changing fiat, on whim, purely for your own satisfaction.
It can be big or small. It can be driven by good intentions or something more selfish. The key thing is, it shouldn’t be a mild and sensible policy declaration: you’re shooting the moon on this one.
So what would you wave your scepter and make so, just for the hell of it?
Posted by Josh Millard9 answers so far!
No pants allowed.
ALL HAIL KING MEATBOMB.
Everybody gets to wear pants except for Meatbomb.
I and my friends and family get free healthcare.
When my car drives down the road everyone clears the way.
I get to jam any cell phone I want, no arguments allowed.
I get free front-row tickets to any concert or live show I want to see. (Keeping in mind that I go to a live show like, once every 5 years or less.)
Yeah, I’d be a selfish ruler. Something more about the world than about me?
Litterbugs, including those who throw cigarette butts out the window, get an automatic fine that goes to cleaning up the environment. Repeat offenders, or those who cannot pay their fine, get to clean up alongside the road themselves.
When my car drives down the road everyone clears the way.
Car? Screw you people, y’all would be bicycling.
Transportation by pneumatic tubes, or sometimes waterslides.
Abortions retroactive to age 18.
Anyone caught in public wearing droopy jeans and a backwards baseball cap gets one warning, then a bullet in the head. Same goes for turtlenecks and squnity little hipster glasses.
Sterilize all NY Yankees fans, along with all NASCAR fans. Toby Keith and Tim McGraw fans in either of these groups get sterilized without anesthesia.
Mandate that every US citizen spend at least one year of his or her life overseas, learning a foreign language and how to be less of an ignorant nationalistic asshole.
Tax church profits and holdings. Onerously.
New World Anthem: Minor Threat’s “Filler”.
Move Australia closer to the rest of the habitable world. It’s so inconvenient.
I think I just fell in love with BitterOldPunk.
Define unreasonable.
Maybe I’d declare that all mentally-handicapped people are a net loss to society and be killed.
Other than that, Mars is a new penal colony.